Positive Adoption Language

One of the first things we learned in our adoption classes is that it's important to use proper adoption language which does not demean anyone in the adoption triad. Using the "negative" terms perpetuates the myth that adoption is second best. Using positive language shows that building a family through adoption is as valid as giving birth. (Nothing irks me more than when someone says: "her REAL mother...". What exactly is a REAL mother anyway?)

Negative Terms ***** Preferred Terms

Gave up her child for adoption ***** Placed her child for adoption
Real parent/Natural parent ***** Birth parent/Biological parent
Adoptive parent ***** Parent
His adopted child ***** His child
Illegitimate ***** Born to unmarried parents
Adoptee ***** Child who was adopted
To keep ***** To parent
Adoptable child/Available child ***** Waiting child
Foreign adoption ***** International adoption
Track down parents ***** Search
Unwanted child ***** Child placed for adoption
Is adopted ***** Was adopted
Birth Mother (before she has placed a baby) ***** Expectant Mother
Reunion ***** Made contact with
Give up/away the baby ***** Make an adoption plan or place the child